November 8, 2019

I watched part of my mentor coach’s speech yesterday and he was talking about happiness.

He was more interested in waking up to every day with excitement rather than the definition of happening and for that he saw the importance of making your dreams happen – starting from your childhood dreams. He also mentioned the importance of being able to decide what to do with your life and how to direct yourself and your time. And usually there are steps to get to this place of being able. In the beginning we want to free ourselves from our parents and earn our own money. Earning enough money is goal so we go and find a job. We might then want to travel the world for some time or visit places we’ve never been in our holidays and a salary raise can be our goal, then maybe flexible working, by time it might be creating more impact and then being more of service to the others and the world.

The goals are layered and they change overtime.

He mentioned how a lot of people are hooked by the quote of Jim Carrey:

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

He said this is what Jim Carrey sees as Jim Carrey, you first do what Jim Carrey did, become who Jim Carrey had become and then see it for yourself.
We in BeCoach Academy talk about 7 Levels of Consciousness / Psychological Development, it is a ladder we go up. The ladder starts with our basic needs of Survival, climbs up and at the top sits Service (Selfless service)- when the basic needs need our attention, we cannot go for the higher levels. We need to care for ourselves and work from the place of where we are at the moment.

It hit me that in my personal life I judge people for the smallness of their goals or goals being just about them. But their goals are in line with what they need right now, where they are right now in their life and who they are with their needs, values and beliefs. I feel compassion for everyone and also for myself who judges.

I was seriously binge watching videos of Bill Hader yesterday.  I feel I have a childhood crush on an actor. But when I observe this it is not actually about the guy, it is about the things he displays that i love: wit, laughing at himself, being a bit shy, not being perfect but still showing up, appreciating others, seeing life from a human perspective, empathy, courage to act any role, creativity, connection to others, love for learning, playfulness, gratefulness. I love the energy, the values, the presence. And I can see it finding an existence in one person and I love this.

It is beautiful that one person just by being himself can give inspiration, energy and ideas to another person. We all might be a person like this to someone. Beauty of being human and being together.

I am grateful that I took the time and called a friend yesterday. I noticed that his energy was different when I saw him recently than the usual. That image stuck in my mind but I did not have a chance to ask him. So I did not want to let it slip. I called we talked. It was beautiful. There was something going on, not something big, but something that he himself also did not think too deep before I asked him. So he thought in my presence and I got to learn what it was , how he was feeling, how he was seeing the world. I felt so grateful.

Yesterday was a day where I felt very tired but instead of taking proper time off I dragged myself around doing bits of work, watching YouTube videos, scrolling in the computer… I learned that it works better when I don’t do anything for half a day or a couple of hours and then start with a plan. And I want to go out everyday. Yesterday I spent the whole day at home which I guess added to my tiredness. Okay. Today is another day so let’s go.

About the author 

Isil Uysal Calvelli

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