October 1, 2019

A few things are going inside my head:

Start where you are

Whenever I feel I am running behind my plans, I am about to judge myself for something I did or didn’t do. I tell myself : Start where you are.

Yesterday I started the day wonderfully. I worked focused. I took time and meditated. When I had an urge to fill my mouth, I checked myself if I was hungry and saw that I was not. I believe food is a quick fix for me for energy and fun. So I want to be mindful and understand my needs better. And I did really well in the first half of the day. In the second half things changed. I indulged myself with biscuits and sunflower seeds. That made me feel really tired at night and I woke up tired the next day too. I thought that it was not a good decision. But this time instead of blaming myself for a bad decision and I said it is what it is, start where you are. Start now. So today I ate mindfully and I feel great.

Another concept I have been thinking is “Abandon hope”.

This is a frequent mantra that is repeated in the meditation circle I am in. I have been pondering. Hope feels something positive for me. But I can sense the underlying message too. It carries out a wish of things being different than it is now, which might translate into “now is not good”. What is good or what is bad? Can this moment tell us that? Can just being alive be good? Being able to feel? Can there be value in whatever we experience right now? Can we stay in the moment without dreaming the future? What would we be losing when we think of future? In coaching we work a lot with future. All vision and goals are based on future. And I know the value of it. When you see it, you can achieve it. You can take the story of your life in your hands. You can shape your character. Can this happen in the moment?

Oh now I remembered. In the meditation teachings I attend, they give the lecture and then say forget it all. This forgetting is letting it go and an invitation to the moment. Because you actually never forget. You script it to your heart. And you can reach out to it in the right moment when you are in the moment. You might not be able immediately. But you practice and practice and practice. Then you let go. It can be the same with vision and goals work. You practice and let go. You practice and let go. You practice and let go. Then you become. When you become, you are, you don’t need hope. You are.


I am so grateful that I get to share them with you. You remind me of what is important. You give me support.

Like yesterday.

My beautiful friend answered to my daily e-mail with “Buen Camino” (Good walk!). How beautiful it is when you share your struggle walking the path, your struggle is heard, your path is acknowledged and so is your strength. Because she did not offer me help. She celebrated my walk. And I am so grateful for her.

I am grateful for you.

Thank you.

About the author 

Isil Uysal Calvelli

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