October 15, 2019

Start wherever you are. Start wherever you are. Start wherever you are.
Come back. Come back. Come back.
Start wherever you are. Start wherever you are. Start wherever you are.

These are the words that I whisper to myself.

When the “self-blaming” thoughts start to emerge. I promised to write daily, I didn’t.

Start where ever you are. Come back. Start wherever you are.

I could not yet prepare the communication plan which I planned for the beginning of the week.

Start where ever you are. Come back. Start wherever you are.

I practice these words. Regularly. In my “nearly” daily practice.

When I sit down to meditate. The thoughts come… and go… Sometimes I go with them… And lose the moment… And when I am aware I say to my self:

Start wherever you are. Come back. Start wherever you are.

So I am starting from here. I am back. I am starting from here.

I have a leadership role. And recently one important task, which was under the responsibility of one of my team members was not completed. It got escalated to higher management and we received a warning.

I panicked. I felt worried. I felt angry. I felt helpless.

I wrote a message to my team member and asked him how he wanted to proceed. I knew he was capable of taking the right action and no way I was going to bypass him and do it myself even if I had the access to the tools.

I got no answer.

I felt frustrated. I thought about people affected from it. I thought about people who sent us the warning. Small thoughts of what could go wrong and what kind of person was my team member who did not take action started walking slowly with their hairy spider legs to my mind. I acknowledged them and did not follow through with them.

i realised my principles supported me.

-Never assume other people’s intent, thoughts and feelings.
-Always have the greatest regard for the person’s being and capability.
-Always approach a person with loving kindness

In some spiritual teachings they call acting with one’s principles “binding yourself.” Even though binding sounds limiting, it is actually liberating for it guides you in your actions and frees your mindspace because you don’t need much to decide. You are guided by your principles.

The next day I had a fantastic call with him. I shared with him how I felt. And I looked at the situation with him, sitting next to him. I did not put the situation between us. I stayed in the objective evaluation of the situation and explored options of moving forward with him. He was kind. Me sharing how I felt kept our conversation intimate. We felt like partners and in this together. I was happy how it went and how I did not let the spiders fill my mind with their nets.

I had the most amazing scene. When you keep your eyes off the phone and in the life, how many beautiful surprises you can see!

I was waiting at the traffic lights for green to cross the street. On the other side of the street there was a young woman in her mid 20s waiting to cross too. She was wearing a long blue dress with black animal print and jean jacket on top. Suddenly another woman walked next to her and stopped with her two kids. She was wearing exactly the same dress. I realised this when I noticed her making a sign to a guy in my side of the street meaning “What can you do?”. Then she smiled and turned to the young woman. The young woman noticed and they both laughed. It was a fantastic moment. I am so glad that I got to experience it with them.

(I wish I could capture this moment in a photograph)

I wish you many beautiful surprises of life like this.



About the author 

Isil Uysal Calvelli

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}