September 29, 2019

I met my friends in Berlin, who I hadn’t seen for a long time. They told me how I was and what I was doing. I told them “I love my life, I am writing, I am singing, I am sharing. I live like an artist. But at the moment, the artist is living in an attic, the heating does not work, she is painting warming herself up with a blanket over her shoulders, taking a few sips from her wine. She keeps on painting. She sleeps, wakes up and paints. That is how I feel what I am doing for the moment.”

A lot of things I do for the moment does not have a (an immediate) financial impact. But I’d still do them. Because they are important, they need to be done and I want to do them.

If you’ve noticed I had not written for some days. There were days where I was very busy and there were days where I felt panic of not being able to survive. But now I see the light. 

The people I talk to, the things I feel and see give me energy. I see the light. I know good things will happen. 

Walking this path was my choice and I knew there will be ups and downs. The path continues and I will walk.


I am very excited about the podcast. I learned so much from The Podcasting Fellowship, Seth Godin and Alexandra DiPalma and all the coaches and fellow students. The course just ended and it ended with a beautiful commencement call.

In this call I asked a question to Seth Godin. I asked him now that I have high energy and a lots of ideas, I can’t stop writing and creating but how can I share what I create in a frequency that is respectful to people’s attention? Should I just share as I go or should I time it? He said it depends on who you want to serve and your medium. Your frequency should be in line with the medium and your medium should be the medium where the smallest group of people you want to serve are at. And he also said something that was important : We keep are teachers. We keep our promises. We serve to create change.


That is important and I feel I still have some way to go to keep my promises. Here for this blog, I promised every day to write but I did not keep that promise all the time. And it feels like I may not be able to. Should I change my promise? Should I strive to keep it. What is the expectation of this medium? Where are the people I want to serve?

I want to keep my promise of writing every day. And for the people I want to serve, I feel they are mostly on Instagram and LinkedIn. That’s where I can connect with them and serve them with thoughts, questions and content. Of course, also with my own website I liked the questions Seth Godin gave me. I will observe the answers that arise. 

How important it is to speak up! I asked a question in the commencement call of The Podcasting Fellowship and I was seen. One of my fellow students told me it was lovely seeing me in the call. Beautiful. When I asked my question I wasn’t even sure if I could make up a meaningful sentence with the feelings I had and confusion inside my head. But I let it evolve while speaking. And just because I spoke I was seen and I had a deeper connection with a person. I will carry this reminder with me.

As I was working for the BeCoach Academy, for publishing the podcast, I was writing and creating, I was very busy and I did not speak with my parents for some time.

I had the fear that they might be offended. But I knew it was an assumption and I could not move with the assumptions. I called them, we talked, they were not offended at all. They asked me all about what they saw on social media, what podcasting was, what I was doing. They were interested and wanted to understand. They appreciated my ideas and my work. Somehow they still managed to mention about baby plans. If I was going to have one? Would I not consider to freeze my eggs?

I don’t want to do anything with the idea that if I don’t do it, I would be sorry later. I don’t want to have fear-based motivation for the actions I take. I love children. I love the idea of seeing the life through the eyes of a child. That should be something magical, it should be a gift. But I don’t think the child should be born from me for me to witness that or for me to love him or her. 

I feel very close  to the idea of being a mother to a child who needs a family but as far as I have seen so far that adoption is sometimes even more difficult than conception. So… I don’t know. But I know that it is not my priority in the next 2 years. Maybe 2022.

I am happy with life and everything. I wish all of us peace, joy, love.

About the author 

Isil Uysal Calvelli

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