May 29, 2019

If you want to make any long lasting change for yourself, you have to treat yourself right. Yesterday I attended the webinar of Richard E. Boyatzis. And that was his key message.

Let me explain.

importance of emotions

An important thing to know about the organism called human is that we are motivated through our emotions. We are intellectual animals, yes. But we first get convinced through our emotions and later justify our decision with our thoughts.

If you want to make any long lasting change for yourself, you need to activate your emotions. You need to feel.

types of emotions

There are two types of emotions:

1. You can have the “negative” emotions: fear, shame, anger
2. Or you might have the “positive” emotions such as joy, compassion and hope 

effect of negative emotions

Assume you want to change your eating habits and eat healthier so that you lose weight.
You might approach this change as “I need to loose 25 kg.”. What should I do for that? I need to cut the carbs, go to gym 3 times a week, stop eating after 7 pm.

Let me tell you what happens when you approach the situation like that. You are in the problem solving mode. You are in the controlling mode. When you comply to your standards there is no reward and when you don’t then there is shame and anger which increase your stress hormones. Cortisol and epinephrin are released which decrease your capacity to be spontaneous, to be loving, to be creative, to sense, to see. And when you are in this state, how will your eating habits be? (I am not even mentioning the increased levels of cortisol will make it more difficult to lose weight as diet and nutrition is not our main topic here). You will probably look for emotional relief through food or not be making the best choices.

effects of positive emotions

An alternative approach – a better approach would be to envision the change you will have. How is your life when you are eating healthy and you are feeling good in your body? How does that impact your other areas of your life? your relationships? Your career? What else will you be able to do when you achieve that? Feel the joy of this future. Now you have all the happiness hormones working for you. You are in your most creative, resourceful state. Your senses are in their full potential. You can find/ see/ notice ways to become who you want to become. You can acknowledge your strengths and how to use them to live to your vision, you can think about your relationships and resources that support you. You can feel the gratitude. You can congratulate yourself for all the days you live to your vision and see it as experiments to learn from and stay excited about every day unfolding.

get into positive emotions for change

What change do you want to make? How do you want to be?

If you want to make any long lasting change for yourself, create a positive compelling vision that awakens joy and hope in you, acknowledge your strengths and your resources and see every step with excitement as an experiment to reach your vision.Only then you will be making a long lasting change.

About the author 

Isil Uysal Calvelli

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