September 14, 2019

Friday was all about writing.

I woke up, meditated, had my breakfast and wrote for half an hour. At the end of this half an hour I had my article ready. (You can read it here:

Our ideas about how things would be are just ideas and can be worse than reality.

And about writing I learned this:

if you sit and write without judgement you will see that you have lots to write about.


Here is a screenshot from the article. I found this photo from an old album and thought it fits well to the article. It gives out the feeling of not having the motivation and wanting to burry the head into the sand so one can avoid the action.

I got to speak with my friend and partner who is back from her pilgrimage. 

She was so bright.

She said it was very difficult to put into words how the journey was. It was something about pain that has a special way of transforming and teaching that cannot be done by anything else.

She put herself through pain by committing walking 800 km in 6 weeks, the plan was 25 km per day but they had walked 40, nearly 50 km in the last days of their journey and it was at times excruciating but she kept on going: one step at a time.

I totally believe in what she says: about the power of pain.

But I am not sure to put myself deliberately to pain, that doesn’t sound reasonable for me.

But I am open to pain when I live the way that is important to me.

I might even choose my favorite kind of pain.

Choose your favorite pain

Think about it. You might be working in a job that pays you well, and you have the stable income every month which ensures a life standard, nice dinners out and holidays in different countries. Your pain might be the long hours you spend at work, having to be there always at some certain time and staying till certain time even though you just fill  time sometimes. Or your pain at your work is doing work that is meaningless to you or spending time with people who are not embracing your values or accepting the real you. 

I do what I love. My pain comes from the feeling of insecurity; sometimes financial, sometimes existential. Sometimes my pain comes from getting hurt because I open myself to others. I write and my pain is not finding the right words to express what I think or having too much to think. It is a pain I choose and over and over I would choose this pain.

What is your pain?

Sometimes you cannot choose your pain but it comes. You might lose a loved one, you might get sick or a war strikes in your country.

You can’t do anything else than letting the pain be. Your pain can be the source of connection with others, with your beautiful heart and with what really matters to you. Your pain can be the source of greatest lessons like taking care of yourself, planning ahead, saying I love you, saving money, speaking up…. 

Whatever pain there is, there is a gift.

About the author 

Isil Uysal Calvelli

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