This episode is coming to you from post nervous breakdown Isil.
In this episode I am sharing my learnings from the nervous breakdown, which were re-learning what I already knew most of the time.
Remember the books I talked about in the 45th episode, 2021 reviewed?
I had shared with you how I loved the book "On Becoming an Alchemist" and how experiences we have in life can be alchemic processes that activates our heart and aligns our life with our spirit? From outside these experiences can feel like sorrows but they are actually creating gold from our hearts.
My nervous breakdown's gold for me was remembering how wonderful people I had in my life. I reached out to my loved ones for emotional support and boy I was supported. None of them taught me the way, or wiggled their finger at me. They listened to me, created safe space for me and shared with me the trust they have in me and in life.
That is the first lesson I want to share with you. You don't have to go through difficulties alone. Reach out to your friends and loved ones. Polyvagal theory (developed by Stephen Porges) supports that too. When we are caught up in a danger state (fight/flight or freeze response), we can find safety in being with another human being. We can co-regulate our nervous systems by receiving and sending safety signals to each other. Our facial expressions, eye-to-eye contact, our tone of voice communicate safety to each other.
Second lesson is please take care of the body's needs first.
I had a very bodily response. I was shaking. I also had many thoughts... I did allow my body space. I could not create enough safe space for me immediately that is why I reached out to family and friends. But later I continued meditation and resting.
Your bodily needs always have the priority in your energy allocation and they will ask for your attention in various ways with increased degree until you actually give them the attention.
Before you start analyzing why you feel like you feel, just feel. (If you can - if you can't, reach out to people for help please) I have shared in a separate post about what makes the bodily sensations the most important material to work with.
When you allow yourself the space to feel everything in your body, you can see things are changing and you can hear what you really need in this moment.
Once you give your emotions the space, you can start hearing what you really need in this moment.
When you are tired and overwhelmed with emotions, please rest well. Take care of your body. Eat well, exercise, REST with capital letters.
When you have rest, when your body is well, then you can look into your thoughts.
Look into your thoughts and see what it is that is true, and what it is that you don't know.
Once you establish what you don't know, and knowing what you need (and probably want), you can turn them into intentions and positive inquiries such as "What ways can I include more joy to my work?", "What possibilities are there to create more income?" etc.
I used the word "positive inquiry" on purpose because we might have an overall negative perception coming from our emotional state. One way to come to the place of possibility is remembering what you already have: all the richness you have, all your experiences, connections, abilities and talents, quirks and qualities...
This experience of breakdown is also your richness: your richness of experience.
I loved the TED talk of Brene Brown where she was called "Vulnerability TED" in a supermarket by a woman. Brene Brown said to the woman that the breakdown was a sipiritual awakening, to which the woman says "Right?" and she shares that in the book club she had they called themselves "Breakdown Babes" and had the slogan "We're falling apart and it feels fantastic!"
I don't know if it feels fantastic but boy isn't it a rich feeling!
I hope you enjoy the richness of your life.
Lots of love,
Isil
P.S. In this episode, I am mentioning a 3-step-tool that I created to transform emotions into self-discovery. I did create it for unfulfillment at work but I believe you can use it for any emotional experience. You can get it here.
